Dobsonia

Original Dobsonian research by Tristan Shuddery. This blog includes quotations from Dobson and is intended as a humble tribute to Frank Key, the greatest living Dobsonist.

23 July, 2006

The Age of Boosters

One of the most overlooked treasures in the Dobson archive is a etching of the pamphleteer straddling a vast machine. We see him clad in a hide jerkin, a ceremonial Caupochon perched at a jaunty angle atop his mussed head, it's tough crimson chinstrap divides his spectacular beard into two horns. He has a vaguely military air as his raiment is adorned with ribons, ceremonial bells and other dignified nautical gewgaws.

This vehicle on which he rides resembles an over-sized steam-gurney, however one with monstorous unwieldy caterpilar tracks. It is adorned with antennas, klaxons and billowing fins. Parabolic basins with glowing prongs at their centre jut out at absurd angles and at it's base we observe a blazing furnace.

Smoke and vapors billow out of it's fore and aft vents, shrouding the pamphleteer in a stinking miasma. His left-hand is deftly gunning the throttle-hasp of the vast engine, we can only imagine that it is emitting a deafening chugging. His right hand is tugging at one of it's three steering pulleys, the one which activates the suction viscera which is absorbing water from a nearby scum-ridden trough, causing a splendid bronze cisteren to flood.

This vehicle is one of twelve mobile boosting-engines built by Curpin, Todge and Tack at their factory near Hoon. Even though the heraldic-device is partially obscured by the over-full dubbin-tray, we can see that this was one of the last of it's type ever built before Curpin's factory burnt down, succombed poltregeists and was abanoned. Today, the wretched factory is a home for screeching birds and howling wirgos, who whirl and whirr ignorant of the wonders that once made it's soot-blackened foundry the pride of Hoon.

In Denis Beerpint's history of boosting technology, he notes that in 18XX, Dobson fell upon a quandray. Should he enlist with a local boosting brigade or devote his life to pamphleteering: This was an age when gaudy-clad booster technicians achieved great glory, propelling their mighty whirling boosting engines to any place on earth that needed their assistance. It was an age when their dairing-do and exploits filled pages of speculative fiction, when fleets of boosters set upon dangerous errands, uplifting all that was languid and flaccid. It was an age in which those boosting technicians were regarded as Gods.

Gods they may have been, but all that is holy is eventually profaned – or at least so claimed Marx. The glory days of boosters, are long since over, and those brave men who piloted their rickety boosters are all but forgotten. All victims of progress:

The boosting engine gave way to the portable booster – a lamentably shoddy construct of plastic and zinc. The brave booster-pilots found themselves made redundant by the unwashed hordes of private booster platoons. Later still, transistorised pocket boosters were the rage – a technological marvel that pomised a booster in every child's satchel. Today a simple viscous fluid serves much the same purpose of the vast stinking engines of old. Can we call this progress?

In his dotage, Dobson was want to lament the demise of the booster. He never lived to witness today's wonders but he could surely see the future of Boosting, prophetic as ever, I would suggest you read: “How I almost enlisted with my local Boosting Brigade, and the implausible yet hilarous events which subsequently occurred”. Sadly, this pamphlet, like all Dobson tracts is long, long out of print.

27 Comments:

At 5:54 pm, Anonymous Richard 23 said...

I don't have the first clue what you're going on about here, but it's an interesting piece of writing.

More?

 
At 6:17 pm, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

Richard, if you would take a moment to view Mr Key's "Hooting Yard" website, and view the item called "RUTH PASTRY WRITES", then all will be revealed.

 
At 11:00 pm, Anonymous Richard 23 said...

Congratulations on getting your fanfic read by Mr Key himself. I heard the podcast. Very nice.

I'll admit I'm not well-read (well I haven't read a lot) but for some odd reason I am reminded of H.P. Lovecraft. Have you read him?

Are you hip on the Church of the Subgenius?

And since you have somehow directed me to Hooting Yard on the Air, may I direct you to The Hour of Slack and Over the Edge radio? If not, why not?

 
At 12:43 am, Anonymous Not a Patriot said...

hi tristan

 
At 12:57 am, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

Greetings!

This blog has never been so popular - have you all come to learn about Dobson and Dobosnic thinking? Please make sure you check out the Hooting Yard website - perhaps then your patriotism will be restored.

 
At 5:59 pm, Anonymous pm said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:06 pm, Anonymous Richard 23 said...

pm, tristan shuddery is a pretty common name.

 
At 7:19 pm, Anonymous pm said...

yea, but you didn't follow up the whole thing. Read the whole process again, and you'll see it is not a coincidence.

 
At 8:29 pm, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

Thats just terrible; however as long as it brings more people into Dobsonism, I really do not mind.

I dont know if you heard the news, but the department of Dobsonian studies is facing closure - people just do not think it is relevant these days. I hope to take advantage of this confusion to perhaps recruit a few more students.

Like Richard said my name is quite common (at least in these parts) so it's an easy mistake to make.

Arrogance is such an abominable trait, especially in writing. I agree that this chap's prose is shoddy, loathsome, lewd and in unspeakably poor taste, however it has nothing at all to do with me.

Given that you know his phone number, might you be better off contacting him directly? You should confront him: give him a peice of your mind!

 
At 9:34 pm, Anonymous pm said...

" You should confront him: give him a peice of your mind! "

I actually like his trollish behavior. So why would I confront him? I have no grudge against him. You're the one being thrown down the mud. As I said, common or not, your name was used by this guys, using even your blogger profile to do so. If it's fine for you, then be it.

Or this blog is also another set up made by that guy?

That would be mostly funny! Bravo if it is the case!

 
At 10:07 pm, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

Like I have said, it's nothing to do with me.I dont think he was pretending to be the same Tristian Shuddery who is a Dobsonian scholar (me), so I dont see what harm has been done.

The site is down right now. Perhaps you frightened him?

So pm, what do you think of Dobson?

 
At 11:36 pm, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

I just phoned the guy - I think he is a harmless incompetant.

He seemed to think that I was responsible for hacking his computer. Anyway, I agreed to delete his contact information. Feel free to post it elsewhere if you think anybody else will benefit.

Thanks for your support pm.

Tristan

 
At 1:26 am, Anonymous Not a Patriot said...

stop lying yesterday when i came to your blog.. there was a link to str site you took it down today and put dobsonia back up today.... i copied it and saved it to my files i will let the readers know... ARe you a terrorist

 
At 1:43 am, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

I wish I knew what you are talking about? Are you one of those odd shelley-fans? Like I said many times I have nothing at all to do with those people.

Do you see any right-wing propaganda here? If you have such a problem with this site why dont you go bother the people who make it... not me!

This site is only about Dobosonian history - do you have any questions about Dobosn?

 
At 1:48 am, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

Mr Patriot - I further allege that you have been the victim of some kind of joke.

After reviewing that Shelley site, it appears to be some kind of satirical web-blog. Not a very good one, but the author's attepts at humor (however lamentable) are plain to see.

I think this whole thing must be a big joke at your expense.

 
At 2:58 am, Anonymous Not a Patriot said...

ok well explain this... this is what you have here today...

Tristan Shuddery
Age: 54
Gender: male
Astrological Sign: Pisces
Zodiac Year: Dragon
Location: Hooting Yard : Hoon : Tajikistan
About Me
I am an assistant research at the department of Dobsonian studies at the unversity of Ack.

Favorite Movies
The Passion of the Grunty Man
Favorite Music
Bohemian Lullabye by Henry Cow and Slapp Happy
Favorite Books
The Immense Duckpond Pamphlet By Aerostat to Hooting Yard
Blogs
Blog Name Team Members
Dobsonia

This is what you had yesterday.

Push-Button Publishing

Tristan Shuddery
Age: 54
Gender: male
Astrological Sign: Pisces
Zodiac Year: Dragon
Location: Hooting Yard : Hoon : Tajikistan
About Me
I am an assistant research at the department of Dobsonian studies at the unversity of Ack.

Favorite Movies
The Passion of the Grunty Man
Favorite Music
Bohemian Lullabye by Henry Cow and Slapp Happy
Favorite Books
The Immense Duckpond Pamphlet By Aerostat to Hooting Yard
Blogs
Blog Name Team Members
STR:Uncovered
Photo


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7/24/2006 11:27:33 AM

 
At 5:32 am, Anonymous pm said...

"He seemed to think that I was responsible for hacking his computer."

You can tell him that his phone number could be found on google when typing his email adress. Not too smart isn't? He should leave his phone number on the web. Needless to say that you don't need to be a hacker to use google. ;)

"Anyway, I agreed to delete his contact information. "

Indeed, you are very kind to him. I'd had sue him instead: it would have made a nice headlines: The man who sued the man who sued the man.

"The site is down right now. Perhaps you frightened him? "

You can tell him that it is sad that he close his site, I don't bite. But I doubt he was afraid.

You can also tell him that I backup the most important things with screenshots if he ever need it for backup.

Oh! Btw, beware, he can be a tricky guy! He got me twice: The first time was with TheSpur weblog. A nice site! It had pictures of Michael Moore on it. It was fun bitching around, I miss that.

"So pm, what do you think of Dobson?"

You could be the last standing adept. Try to avoid disciples. It would make a nice story.

 
At 11:05 am, Blogger Tristan Shuddery said...

"You can tell him that it is sad that he close his site, I don't bite. But I doubt he was afraid."

If you are so keen to tell him something, why dont you tell him yourself. Like I said, I only care about Dobsonism. Unless this person starts critcizing my Dobson research then I dont give a hoot!

"Indeed, you are very kind to him. I'd had sue him instead: it would have made a nice headlines: The man who sued the man who sued the man."

PM, you are starting to bore me. First of all you appear to have been the victim of some kind of joke - and like the very worst of idiots you compound this by refusing to acknowledge your error.

I apprecaite that you may not care for Dobsonism, however I do. Your silly ramblings are getting in the way of an important discussion.

Congratulations for shutting down this person who you may or may not dislike. In the unlikely event that I ever contact him again I will pass on your foolish sentiments, however your lack of conviction implies that even you realise by now that you are the victim here.

Tristan

 
At 2:50 pm, Anonymous pm said...

Indeed, you are right. I am the victim here. Sorry for disturbing your most intelligent work here and everywhere.

Regards ;)

 
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